You Know You Did Wrong, Say It Clearly
FIFA suspends Spanish soccer federation president Luis Rubiales for unwanted kissing
What should have been and continue to be solely a celebration of Spanish soccer after the national women’s team beat England 1-0 to win the World Cup has regrettably also been a story about federation president Luis Rubiales and his bizarre decision to kiss a player on the lips while holding her face with two hands in celebration of the team’s accomplishment.
FIFA has suspended Rubiales, rightly so, and most of the coaching staff has resigned.
Rubiales? He’s foolishly, embarrassingly fighting intense pressure coming from different flanks to resign despite knowing that his actions were unprofessional, unethical and a poor display of leadership, despite his joy in the moment.
Jenni Hermoso was the player who was the victim of the unwanted grabbing and passionate kiss on the lips. Rubiales shortsighted, self-absorbed decision for a public statement, through another party, is the following:
"Luis Rubiales has stated that he will defend himself legally in the competent bodies, placing full trust in FIFA's processes. He reiterates that this approach provides him the opportunity to initiate his defense in order to uphold the truth and demonstrate his complete innocence," the Spanish soccer federation said.
Compounding the conflict-and-reputation fire.
Rubiales is blind to the egregiousness of the behavior, especially as a leader and is deceiving himself but no one else, that he will emerge defended and victorious in “the competent bodies.”
He has no chance because what happened is beyond acceptable conduct and was seen live and on video and in photographs. The proof and evidence of Rubiales’ selfishness is clear and obvious.
He’s acting out and fighting out right now because of ego and embarrassment.
Hermoso is being supported in the media and social media and rightly so and has made her own statement.
"I want to clarify that, as seen in the footage, I never consented to the kiss he gave me, and of course, I never intended to lift the president in the air. I do not tolerate that my word is distrusted, and even less so, the invention of words I never said," Hermoso said.
It will sink in eventually to Rubiales that he cannot and will not be allowed to remain in a position of authority and prestige. His response to his behavior and creating a false narrative about the incident (assault) and Hermoso is more evidence that he can’t be trusted in a position of authority and power.
He’s been called a sexist (this action, as offensive as it is, likely doesn’t meet the standard of the definition) and a misogynist (Rubiales might be but this act is not an act of misogyny). Regardless, he attracted these types of labels, predictably so, because of his, not anyone else’s, behavior.
Rubiales knew better and gave into base impulses instead of controlling his emotions and urges. Now he is trying to escape this crisis of his own making.
Rubiales is continuing to offend, fighting a battle in which he’s already been deemed the loser and moving deeper into the fire of criticism and reputation damage instead of wisely doing what should be done: expressing remorse without qualifiers, showing sustained humility, explaining he knows it was wrong and why and apologizing publicly and privately, with sincerity, to Hermoso, the team, country and his organization and additionally offering to step down, no matter how much it hurts.
It would be frosting on the cake if Rubiales would mention the specific steps he would take to learn from his error and improve his professional judgment and behavior.
Michael Toebe is a reputation consultant, advisor and communications specialist at Reputation Quality, assisting individuals and organizations with further building reputation as an asset or ethically protecting, restoring or reconstructing it.
He is also the writer and publisher of the Reputation Notes newsletter on the Substack and LinkedIn platforms.
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