When Your Spouse is the Primary Reason for Your Damaged Reputation

We know a damaged or terrible reputation can bring us consequences and pain yet what do we do when our spouse is the one directly responsible for that reputation, ongoing scrutiny, criticism, and risk to your overall well-being?

Think that’s just displacement of blame to put that on a spouse? Sometimes, yes, that can be the case. Ok, let’s say, most of the time.

But most of the time is not all of the time.

Imagine for a moment, if it already hasn’t happened to you, the swirl of different emotions you might experience — strongly — how clear or unclear your thinking might be and whether your decision-making would be ideal to help you best navigate the situation.

Here’s a story in the news about it. It ain’t pretty.

The husband in the story is doing his best to respect his marriage, at least publicly, as well as protect his career, with his public comments and internal communication within his office. Yet is that enough?

It might prove to be insufficient.

So what do you do in situations with some resemblance to this story where one spouse communicates or otherwise behaves in a way that brings the heat of criticism and danger your way?

Initially, maintain or quickly regain poise in the immediate moment, then practice lasting and healthy stress management so you can think clearly to best analyze the situation and if need be, seek out professional assistance.

Knowing what to say and what not to say in one’s communication is a critical requirement. It’s a treacherous task though and one on which people often get a mediocre or failing grade. That’s why it is, at risk of sounding like an alarmist, imperative you know a professional communicator you can lean on to assist you, at minimum with a consult and likely, with greater assistance.

Very few people expect or are ready for such a scenario as has been described. When you see crazy stories in the news about reputation harm, it’s helpful to stop for a moment, place yourself in that person’s shoe or peoples’ shoes and ask yourself, “how would I immediate react and then later, after having time to think and plan, how would I respond?”

Then ask, “what type of outcome is most likely to occur and not occur and why so and why not?”

These are powerful questions.

It’s also smart to introduce yourself today to a reputation specialist so if ever such a shocking, difficult situation does arise, you know someone already and have some peace of mind that you and them both will be able to weather the storm and navigate the adversity skillfully and successfully.

Michael Toebe
Reputation Notes

Michael is the founder and specialist of Reputation Quality. He is also the writer of “Reputation Specialist.”