Rare is the person who is entirely comfortable with criticism, even if it is constructive in nature. Those who receive it well tend to progress faster in their work and lives. It’s an important topic of discussion because it’s not easy to learn or master.
"The ability to accept and act on constructive criticism is about building a reputation as someone who's coachable, self-aware and committed to improvement," recently wrote Andy Molinksy, a professor of organizational behavior at Brandeis University's International Business School and a contributor to the Harvard Business Review.
It’s a useful question to inquire how significant and valuable that habit can be for respect, trust, reputation and professional relationships.
“I get to see firsthand how being open to feedback affects those people we work with,” says Mauricio Garza, the owner at the Room Recording Studios. “A person who’s receptive demonstrates humility and dedication to work.
“They see constructive feedback as a way to step up into the next level.”
Being resistant makes an impression, not a positive one and it comes at a cost.
“A person breaks trust and reputation with team members when they push back on constructive criticism,” says John Gabrielli, the owner at Air Temp Solutions, an HVAC and plumbing company.
“Feedback, when ignored, will create relationship gaps and slow down the momentum of the whole company. But taking constructive criticism well moves things smoothly and builds stronger relationships… ensuring goals are achieved.”
This capacity begins at a specific root in the mind.
“What this really comes down to is EQ (Emotional Intelligence),” says John Lentini, the president at BOLD Training Corp and the author of the forthcoming book, “Engineering Character: Six Dials to Build Better Leaders.”
He does push back, however, at the language used.
“I don’t like the term constructive criticism, as they are contradictory terms,” Lentini argues. “We should think and speak in terms of feedback. Positive or constructive feedback. Performance recognition or development opportunities.”
The workplace environment, he elaborates, should be well known for the use of constant communication for improvement.
“Much of this comes down to managing expectations,” Lentini says. “It’s incumbent upon the feedback provider to… communicate a forecast that everyone should not just be prepared for the potential for constructive development feedback, but they should expect it.
“We are all less than perfect, and the sooner they realize that, the faster they will be on the road to that bumpy road towards excellence.”
Those who struggle with hearing feedback intended to help them grow may not realize the future costs they are beginning to pay now.
“I’ve watched many talented folks over the years plateau because they treated feedback like personal attacks instead of growth opportunities,” says Flynn Zaiger, CEO at Online Optimism, a creative digital marketing and design agency.
“When someone resists well-meaning criticism, they’re essentially telling their team and leadership that their ego matters more than results. This is a reputation killer, no matter what industry you’re in.”
It’s not just for his employees.
“In our New Orleans office, we’ve built a culture where feedback flows both ways because I learned early that the moment you stop being coachable is the moment you stop being valuable,” Zaiger says. “The best leaders I know, whether they’re running agencies or Reddit communities, understand that criticism is just data in disguise.”
Trust is currency in the workplace and business and it’s not to be undervalued.
“Resistance to hard truths is the silent destroyer: being un-coachable is the absolute trust breaker. It tells your team and your mentors that your ego is more important than our common goal,” says Travis Hoechlin, the CEO and co-founder at RizeUp Media, a legal marketing agency. “I have seen brilliant attorneys plateau because they fought every piece of well-meaning advice.”
Molinsky communicated about a point touched on above.
"From an emotional standpoint, criticism can feel like a personal attack," he wrote. "But from a more rational perspective, it's simply information."
This might mean a cognitive reframing for people to put themselves in an emotional, psychological place where they don’t feel under siege.
“It serves us well to selfishly make our leaders do the hard work of telling us what where we can improve,” Lentini says. “Your managers are doing you a disservice if they take shortcuts and don't challenge themselves to identify and communicate your development opportunities.”
We can learn to notice the available value.
“The same thing goes for us,” Garza says, “when we realize that criticism is about work and actually separated from our personal worth, it will become a tool that we can use to grow instead of seeing it as a weapon against us.”
Zaiger agrees that it’s about a focus on the work. He offers an analogy that he uses.
“The trick is treating criticism like you’re debugging (computer) code rather than defending your identity,” he recommends.
“When our team gives me feedback about a campaign strategy or leadership decision, I force myself to ask ‘what problem are they trying to solve?’ instead of ‘why are they questioning me?’”
While Zaiger is a CEO he remembers when constructive criticism or feedback helped him because of how he received it.
“The best growth moments in my career came from conversations that initially made me uncomfortable,” he says. “I remember a particularly brutal, but necessary conversation about our project management approach. In this situation, what felt like an attack on my systems thinking was actually my team telling me they needed better collaboration tools.”
When Zaiger realized what was being pursued, he felt less stressed.
“Once I stopped hearing criticism as judgment and started hearing it as teamwork in action, everything changed. The emotional sting becomes background noise when you realize that the person giving feedback is optimistic enough about your potential to invest their time in helping you improve.”
Inside the Peel
“Reframing criticism begins with peeling off the ego and rather, examining the naked information,” says Hoechlin. “You’ve probably heard that feedback is a gift but I consider it high-level market intelligence for your career.”
He talks about what is necessary to gain that value.
“Extracting the sting requires you to view your professional performance in terms of a marketing campaign that needs constant optimization,” Hoechlin says.
“We want data to tell us when a strategy is failing and we do not take the numbers personally. … It is just information that tells you where to shift your pivot so as to gain a better outcome for the firm.”
Most people care about how they are viewed and judged professionally. When we choose to positively receive what can be empowering, it communicates loudly.
“It’s obvious when a person listens to feedback, asks questions sincerely and tries to make some changes in their work,” Garza says. “One thing I have noticed is that people trust other people more when their eyes are fixed on the prize or goal instead of those who let pride get in the way of their work.
“They’re most likely to respect them too when they’re open for suggestions and feedback. This is the real essence of maturity: not taking things very personally.“
It Makes You Professionally Desirable
“It turns you into someone people actually want to work with,” Zaiger says.
“When you handle criticism well, you signal that you’re more interested in winning than being right. People notice when you can separate your ego from your work and they start bringing you bigger opportunities because they trust you won’t take business decisions personally.”
He’s observed this often.
“I’ve seen this play out countless times: when the leaders who embrace feedback become the ones everyone wants to collaborate with because they make the work about the work, not about protecting their feelings,” Zaiger says.
This usually changes the workplace narrative about you.
“Your reputation shifts from brilliant, but difficult to brilliant and adaptable, and that second version gets promoted faster,” Zaiger says. “In our industry, clients and team members remember how you respond to pressure and feedback more than they remember your individual wins.”
Many high achievers feel excluded from the executive table. While it might not be a guaranteed key to those discussions, Zaiger says increased opportunity exists.
“Reception to criticism becomes a leadership litmus test that people use to decide whether they want you in the room for important decisions,” he contends.
Lentini agrees.
“This is a key indicator that someone has the maturity to level up their career,” he says. “Senior leaders are virtually never exited for lack of technical prowess. As we advance our careers, its behavior and interpersonal relationships that present the differentiating challenges.
“Again, it comes down to EQ, and in the traditional Daniel Goleman framework, that starts with developing self-awareness first and foremost. Only then can we begin to self-manage. And only with the foundational self-awareness, can we develop the adequate social-awareness to manage relationships.”
Molinksy suggests professionals ask different questions in response to constructive criticism, with one being, “What would 'better’ look like in this situation?”
Whether it will work well, the majority of the time, is worth discussing.
“Questions like this will guide everyone in the team towards concrete outcomes,” Gabrielli says. “It’s very refreshing and open.”
Zaiger has an appreciation for it as well.
“That question is pure gold because it shifts the conversation from past problems to future solutions,” he says.
“Most people giving criticism want to see change, not just vent frustrations, so asking for specifics shows you’re already thinking about implementation, rather than making excuses. The question works best when it comes from genuine curiosity,” he adds.
“There’s a huge difference between ‘what would better look like?’ asked with an open mind versus the same words delivered with attitude.”
The Importance of “When”
“Timing matters too,” Zaiger says. “Asking immediately after receiving feedback demonstrates that you’re processing the information in real time rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.”
“It transforms criticism sessions into collaborative problem-solving, which is exactly what healthy workplace culture should look like.”
It’s Powerful
“I have seen this question save a partnership dozens of times because it compels both people to stop looking backward and begin to look at the road ahead,” Hoechlin says.
“Mentors, in fact, love this question.”