We Benefit from Learning Why We Do What We Do
A former scientist turned hypnotherapist briefly explains more
We don’t always want to know what’s behind the curtain with ourselves. There can be different reasons, some understandable, some not, for not being driven to understand.
That’s an error though, sometimes a small one, yet at other times, a reckless one.
The truth of the matter is that we have to dissect and learn our behavioral drivers.
"If we want to grow, both personally and professionally, we need to understand why we do what we do,” Ravinder K. Taylor, a scientist turned hypnotherapist, recently told Nia D. Thomas at Thomas’ Knowing Self-Aware Leadership newsletter on Substack.
"Past experiences, even the ones we’ve forgotten or pushed aside, can still influence how we behave and make decisions,” Taylor added. “By understanding and working with these deeper layers of the mind, we can start to shift long-standing habits and move towards real, lasting self-awareness."
I presume not all of us make the connection between what we do that seemingly makes no sense and past experiences, possibly current ones. We’d be surprised to learn that some of what we do is powerfully influenced by our past.
We aren’t always cognizant of what’s transpiring with our psychology, impulses, decisions and actions. Rather, we’re usually on autopilot, which can create setbacks, increase risks and lead to problematic outcomes we are ok with that are not good for trust, safety and relationships (and maybe, freedom).
This can additionally lead to outcomes we clearly didn’t want and likely, didn’t expect.
Our behavior, however, makes sense to us, even if it isn’t the most helpful for our short-and-long-term well-being or if it inflicts pain on others.
That’s why it’s intelligent and crucial to implement safeguards.
If you prefer, you can do some of this yourself.
"Set aside time to explore your patterns, beliefs and emotional triggers,” Taylor told Thomas. “Ask yourself where certain reactions might originate.”
Why is this necessary? Because, “Developing this self-awareness is a vital step towards breaking free from outdated mental programming... " Taylor pointed out.
Most of the time, we’re not setting aside this time that she recommends and we’re not digging deep to explore, as Taylor said, our patterns, beliefs and triggers that could lead to clarity, greater understanding and the chains to our “operating system,” and the positives and bugs or worse, viruses, in it.
Maybe, with increased self awareness from the difficulty or pain we unknowingly invite into our lives, we can come to ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this to myself” or even more pointedly, “What do I gain from this?”
Those are questions that Taylor asked herself from “her personal health journey” yet they are questions we ask about any struggles, adversity, hardship or crisis we’ve found ourselves navigating due to our decisions and actions.
“Staying honest with yourself helps uncover hidden patterns and blind spots,” Taylor says.
Those two tasks may be hard to learn about ourselves yet it’s in that discovery and knowing, that discomfort or pain and suffering, that we can begin to “right” the course of our life with improved trust, credibility, reputation and relationship health (professional and personal) that determine the peace and “good” in our lives, or not.
Michael Toebe is the specialist at Reputation Intelligence, helping individuals and organizations with matters of credibility, trust, decision analysis, communications, relationships and reputation.
You can DM him on Substack or contact him below for consulting, risk analysis, coaching, ongoing advisory, a variety of proactive and responsive communications and reputation (not legal) representation.
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