The False Stories We Tell Ourselves Have Costs
We often don't realize the truth altering we do in the midst of poor decisions
Sometimes the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are not accurate.
I think most of us can look back and agree that we have made errors in our perceptions, assumptions and beliefs and then, in our self talk — how we communicate to our brain and psychology — we deceive ourselves, either unintentionally or very intentionally.
In today’s society, many intelligent, well-meaning and yes, helpful people communicate that we are too hard on ourselves. That’s certainly true for most of us and there is great benefit in learning and understanding it and believing that comforting, encouraging ‘medicine,’ because we can certainly, at times or often, beat ourselves up mercilessly, with no useful benefit.
Yet, let’s talk about the flip side of this for a moment if we may, those times — occasionally, semi-regularly or as a dominant habit — when we create narratives (stories) that ignore, gloss over, deny and reject the shortcomings in our thinking and actions, because, let’s face it, we as human beings also have the capacity and maybe the tendency to do that too.
We usually recognize when others are caught up in this type of cognitive-behavioral trap yet we might not be identifying it if and when we’re doing it.
That means trouble, maybe for others and definitely for ourselves, if not in the present (although we likely wouldn’t make the cause-effect connection), then eventually, because the odds aren’t with us that we’ll always elude or escape the problems that come with distorted thinking traps.
What then could these problems look like when we’re not being honest with ourselves about our misaligned thinking, bad habits and lesser character?
The difficulties that can often arise include: forfeited or eroded trust, relationship damage, prevention of relationships getting established to begin with or broken-and-ended relationships (professional and personal).
There’s more, unfortunately: increased probability of legal problems, opportunity loss, financial loss and hardship, emotional suffering and psychological challenges.
This can lead us deep into self-inflicted reputation harm that creates doubt in other people’s minds or all-out distrust.
Of course, this is not an all-inclusive list.
Here is a helpful quote that I ran across this week — it might not be encouraging to read or maybe it will be — yet it is factual — if you relate it to trust, relationships, reputation, conflicts and crisis:
“…the road to recovery is not necessarily a straight line.”
Here’s one more for you:
“We win the moment at the cost of the decade.”
Shane Parrish
Thinking deeply on that conclusion of Parrish’s can really mushroom your mind. As humans we can be so shortsighted at times that we don’t conduct forward thinking, looking long down the road when we focus exclusively or predominantly on the moment, the “right now,” to consider what our future selves will think of us and communicate back to us in the years to come.