Reputation Doom Feelings: a Misperception

And "Am I Going to be Believed," and "Anyone Can Say Anything (a lie)," and "There's Still Time to Change the Road You're On."

When you are experiencing — or it feels like you’re experiencing — doubt about your reputation or clear criticism about it that may or may not align with the facts, it’s not uncommon to feel discouragement, anxiety or anger. The emotion and conclusions can be powerful and possibly, feel like too much to bear.

There is good news. How you’re feeling can change.

“Through perseverance, many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure,” said Benjamin Disraeli, writer and two-time Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

Was Disraeli talking about reputation? No. But he could have been and in doing so, he would have been correct. Perseverance can change minds, improve situations and create more palatable outcomes. It can overcome what seems to be doomed.

There is opportunity to 1) disprove other people’s misguided perceptions, biases and false conclusions and 2) prove the facts and truth about you that others don’t know.

Bonus

“… that feeling of 'am I going to be believed?' haunted me.” Consider a scenario — maybe you have already lived through such a situation, past or present: You know the facts and truth. You’re poised and being objective in your analysis.

What you don’t know, which is resulting in stress and maybe fear and anxiety is whether or not people you need to count on to be helpful will find you credible and trustworthy and thus, decide to believe and assist you.

You could have learned this long ago or possibly you have yet to experience it — just because you communicate facts and are being objective and truthful does not automatically mean that everyone you go to is going to trust that you are being honest.

There is also the ice-cold, ugly reality that they could believe you and still choose, for different immoral reasons, not to offer their assistance. They will also choose not to factually communicate your story to others so someone else can be helpful to you.

“Anyone can say anything about anyone, and it takes time to get it taken down.” How correct this statement is, so much in fact that I have communicated something quite similar several times, which is, “Anyone can say anything. And have it believed. That doesn’t make it true.”

It’s incredibly disappointing that illusions can be created out of nothing and there are always 1) gullible people who swallow the lie and 2) confirmation-bias afflicted people who want to believe the lie and so they do, believing it an absolute.

“I don't think (unwanted) reputations always should stick.” If people or groups are willing to do what is necessary to improve and produce new outcomes, then no, in the most situations, (unwanted) reputations should not stick.

That doesn’t mean some hard-headed observers and critics won’t continue to believe what they want to believe that is unflattering but it does mean that idealistically and hopefully, in reality, most people will develop more positive feelings in the vast majority of circumstances and be willing to change their viewpoints to neutral, if not approval.

“There is still time to change the road you're on...” (Led Zeppelin) That line from the band’s classic song, Stairway to Heaven, is a good life lesson. We have the “moment” and the choice when life is good or alright and headed the wrong direction or when we are struggling, maybe badly.

Regardless, we can make the changes that would greatly improve our situation.

Emotions and psychology get in the way. How we communicate with ourselves gets in the way. We have to conquer it, either alone or with people who have the ability and willingness to assist us getting from the point A we’re at now to point B, C, Z or anywhere else further away from where we are and should not be residing.

What do you think about the image above?

Know what I see?

A problem, I suspect, most all of us have had, do have or will have at some point in our lives is our pride becoming a crutch that we just can’t bring ourselves to surrender.

We will decline, disturbingly so, to reach for something that is available and maybe being offered to us that is clearly helpful and possibly, as in the photo, critically needed.

As most of us have already learned or will one painful day learn, letting go of what is far less value (or damaging) than what is available and being offered, is no easy task.

Emotionally and psychologically, there’s a block, a problematic one or multiple ones.

We have to strongly consider reframing our thinking, clean the lens in which we are looking at our lives or those of others and think long-term if we’re going to overcome shortsighted and substandard decisions and dangerous, painful outcomes.

Michael Toebe is a reputation consultant, advisor and communications specialist at Reputation Intelligence: Reputation Quality, assisting individuals and organizations with further building reputation as an asset or ethically protecting, restoring or reconstructing it.

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