No, The Media's Reputation is Not 'Lost'
A person's 'upset' is not the final say. Also, men get labeled controlling too, don't use this ridiculous phrase when confessing and think 'water' when arguing
Yes, They Said This… What Say You?
“The US media ‘lost its reputation’ during the COVID lockdowns, according to Small Business Women Australia CEO, Amanda Rose,” reports Sky News Australia.
Rose peacefully elaborated (see video at link above) on her perception and frustration:
“When they all started to say the exact same thing – no one was allowed to have an opinion, whether you agreed or not,” she told Sky News Digital Presenter Gabriella Power.
To Rose, it made little sense and became a big, ethical problem that hurt the public.
“We need to have that difference of opinion and having those discussions because that’s how you come up with new ideas and get support,” she said.
Analysis: Maybe you agree, maybe you disagree with Rose. The conclusion about the media’s performance — objective or subjective, accurate or inaccurate — is out there circulating and it won't likely be dismissed anytime soon, in the U.S. or Australia.
While a certain segment of people hold a distrust, Rose’s bold assertion that the media (fully) “lost its reputation” is an overstatement, an extreme exaggeration. The media did not lose its reputation.
Did it make mistakes? That is certainly debatable. Was it overconfident — and arrogant at times — in reporting? That too, certainly debatable. But losing its reputation? That gets quickly discarded as inaccurate or false for the vast majority of the media consumers.
To be fair, Rose does make important, valid points: 1. “We need to have that difference of opinion and having those discussions because that’s how you come up with new ideas and get support” and 2. “No one was allowed to have an opinion, whether you agreed or not.”
Keep in mind that her viewpoint is influenced by the harmful impact that government regulations and consumer decisions had on small businesses, which she represents. So her comments are understandable from that perspective: She is an advocate and defender of those people.
That’s my professional opinion.
However: What say you about Ms. Rose’s beliefs and comments?
Men Get Criticized Too For Being Controlling and Undesirable Work Partners
We often read or hear the complaint, the sensitivity understood here, that "(critics) wouldn't say that about a man,” when women feel criticized as a gender.
Here is another case that shows men as well get criticized for being (overly) controlling and it impacts their reputation. This isn’t an outlier either.
Headline: This Director Refused to Work With Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone “once had an unfavorable reputation behind-the-scenes (for) wanting to take control of the projects he starred in,” Antonio Stallings reported at ShowBiz Cheat Sheet. “So when Stallone was cast in (an) obscure thriller, this filmmaker flat-out refused to collaborate with him. Until he was forced to.”
Stallings reports about Stallone and the film, D Tox, a/k/a Eye See You, released in 2002.
“Filmmaker Jim Gillespie would helm the project. He had a long list of big-named actors he wanted to work with on the thriller, but the Rocky star wasn’t one of them,” Stallings wrote. “Gillespie actually passed on the actor at first because of what he’d heard about Stallone from other sources.”
“…there was a lot of kind of not great stories of him being a bit of a control freak. And it’s very difficult if you’re the director, because he would take over,” Gillespie admitted.
That probably was true. Stallone was “extra” as the kids say. The common argument is that’s not usually an accurate assessment with women or if they are judged as being controlling, it’s because it is necessary for the success of the project or mission in any profession and that men would not be similarly judged in the situation.
Stallone, Elon Musk, Donald Trump come to mind immediately and back in the day, Bill Gates and the late Steve Jobs too. Those are just the easy ones. I have other known names in mind but will bypass creating a longer, boring list for you.
“After Gillespie rejected Stallone, however, Gillespie and the studio had trouble securing a popular star for their movie. The studio would end up casting Stallone, who was interested in the project,” Stallings wrote. “And if Gillespie didn’t like the decision, the studio would simply find someone else to take his place.”
Gillespie recalls it well.
“I got a phone call to say, ‘I’ve got good news and bad news.’ And I went, ‘Okay, give me the good news.’ ‘We’ve greenlit D Tox. It’s definitely happening.’
”I was like, ‘Yes. What’s the bad news, then?’ ‘Sylvester Stallone is playing Jake Malloy. In or out, that’s your choice. We’re making the movie. If you want to make it, we want you to make it. If you don’t want to make it, see you later,'” Gillespie remembers.
How’s that for respecting Gillespie’s concerns?
Here’s where it gets interesting and a lesson emerges.
“Gillespie and Stallone would eventually meet in person. As the two chatted to get to know each other, the director was surprised by Stallone’s demeanor,” Stallings wrote.
“We sat and we had coffee, and we chatted about the script. He was very open about, ‘People are gonna tell you I’m a control freak and all that. I’m not like that, that’s just the Hollywood stuff,'” Gillespie recalled Stallone communicating to him.
Gillespie came to learn and understand something he finds important to this day and it is good to remember about other people and maybe to communicate to others who may doubt our reputation for professional purposes.
“The truth is, everybody has a reputation. People who you get told are difficult might be, but they equally might not be,” he says. “And they might not be difficult with you.”
In the end, Gillespie discovered Stallone was not the extreme-controlling person to him that others claimed he was with them, a lesson to think about when it comes to women and men — anyone, when we have heard or read negativity and non-endorsements about them.
If You Value How Others Experience and Judge You, Please Don’t Say This…
“I’m not proud of my behavior” or “I’m not proud of it.”
Either way of saying the same thing is going to do you no favors in other people’s minds. It only helps the person saying it feel like they are being humble and contrite. That’s a self deception, an illusion, to make us feel like better people.
Headline: "Morgan Wallen Addresses Nashville Arrest for Reckless Endangerment: ‘I’m Not Proud of My Behavior’”
Important Psychological, Social and Professional Insight:
Saying "I'm not proud of it (my behavior)" isn't enough for critics.
So thinking that, "ok, we're good now" when what was just communicated doesn't sincerely, objectively, fully, humbly and remorsefully “own” actions and make "right" on the errors to full extent, as in correct and heal whatever happened, is a fools errand — “a task or activity that has no hope of success.”
Such communication is viewed as a lazy attempt at getting past the dispute or conflict. It’s judged by most as a weak attempt at communicating remorse, doesn’t clearly convey it or responsibility, a sincere apology or desire to make amends.
Advisory: Please don’t go down that road if you are trying to heal a hurt in a dispute, conflict, significant issue or crisis. It’s much better, I contend, to communicate more directly and clearly instead of some throwaway line that is highly unlikely to be trusted.
“Fight fire with water, not more fire.”
Richard Birke
Vice President and Executive Director
JAMS Institute (Judicial Arbitration and Mediation Services, Inc.)
*Talking about Disingenuous Arguments
—Communication Intelligence, the Newsletter
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Michael Toebe is a reputation consultant, advisor and communications specialist at Reputation Intelligence: Reputation Quality, assisting individuals and organizations with further building reputation as an asset or ethically protecting, restoring or reconstructing it.
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