'I Think People are Absolutely Right to be Upset'

Accurately understanding a backlash and responding in alignment with it can help you move more safely through disputes and lasting conflicts

Keeping ego in check in a dispute or ongoing conflict is hard. For some, they won’t do it. Because of their thinking and habits, they can’t bring themselves to do so. Yet for those who do, they have a helpful power.

Once you have developed and improved this trait over time, you can take the next step: gaining understanding and knowing what specifically to communicate before showing additional character and the courage to express remorse and care for others.

“I think people are absolutely right to be upset,” Joseph Fiennes said about playing Michael Jackson in a 2017 episode of Sky Arts’ anthology series ‘Urban Myths,’‘‘ adding, “and it was the wrong decision. Absolutely.”

How many people admit that in the face of criticism.

You’re correct, not many.

Few.

That’s why they stand out, shine brightly.

In this case, the episode, which was pulled, was about Jackson traveling with Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor on a post-9/11 road trip. People understandably were upset that Fiennes, a white man, was chosen to play a Black man. The prosthetic nose was so poorly done that that too invited criticism.

Fiennes recognized the “why” behind the anger and empathized with it and knew it would show strength and respect to speak directly to the error.

He expanded on that though by adding it was, “…it was, you know, a bad call. A bad mistake.”

Let’s briefly look at the Best of his public apology: Acknowledgement that a hurtful error was committed and people being upset was natural. Communicating it was the wrong decision, a bad mistake. All factual, all smart to convey.

Maybe it wasn’t perfect but the sincerity of effort was there and it wasn’t a poor response.

Fiennes communicated more however and it detracts some from whatever grade people might give him.

“And I’m one part of that — there are producers, broadcasters, writers, directors, all involved in these decisions. But obviously if I’m upfront, I have become the voice for other people. I would love them to be around the table as well to talk about it.”

He could have chosen not to act defensively — although it’s understandable — and mentioned other professionals who were involved. There was no need to do it and if he would have left them out, his communication would have been stronger. Why, because the critics know it wasn’t all on him and if he took the flaming arrows, people would have recognized how he fell on the grenade for them.

Fiennes thought it important however to communicate that he wasn’t the sole influence or sole decision-maker on this project.

He did then, to be fair, circle back intelligently around with, “but obviously if I’m upfront, I have become the voice for other people.”

It was a smart way to finish.

Michael Toebe writes “Reputation Notes” and is the founder and specialist at Reputation Quality, a practice that serves and assists successful people and organizations in further building reputation as an asset and responsibly, ethically protecting, restoring or reconstructing it.

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