How You Present Yourself May Not Be Believed

Much of the media and now, the televisions show South Park are fed up with how Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are presenting themselves

The intensity of disdain in a crisis of reputation can be severe and disturbing and that’s what Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have, in the minds of many in the media and the public as well, brought upon themselves.

The ongoing criticism of Markle and Harry complaining about their privacy not being honored is considered self inflicted.

At first, it all seems a trivial matter for the media and public to be concerned about. Like, who cares? But people do care. Passionately. Not everyone of course, but this story has “legs” and thus, the media keeps reporting on the couple because coverage still gets attention.

Samantha Markle, Meghan’s sister, was recently interviewed to talk about the scathing South Park television show that skewered Meghan and Harry. Samantha Markle said something in that interview at the four-minute-fifty-second mark that really cuts to the heart of one significant problem.

“There’s a lacking of empathy, remorse and shame…"

When we come across to other people as that type of person, our character is going to be experienced as poor and we are going to lack credibility and thus, trust. If we care about how we looked at, we can’t be perceived and judged as being unwilling to extend empathy, conduct ourselves with little-to-no remorse and lack shame if what we have done or are currently doing is considered self absorbed, has offended or is hurting others.

Now, of course, one can say in the case of Meghan and Harry, “what harm have they committed, really?”

Fair question. In their case, that’s immaterial. They both keep themselves in the public eye, yet in the minds of critics, fair or not (and they have plenty) Meghan and Harry communicate and act contradictory to their requests to be left alone. They are judged by critics (a segment of the media and the public) as having become insufferable.

The takeaway? We don’t always consider how we are acting when we’re being criticized or condemned, we don’t believe that criticism when we hear or read about it, we reject it and get defensive and rationalize our actions and worst of all, we don’t make wise adjustments to help our situation. Thus, we continue to receive that which we don’t want to experience.

Right or wrong, if Meghan Markle and Prince Harry want to put an end to the criticism, mockery, disgust and attacks, they have to do their part in helping taking the air out of the current narrative. You don’t accomplish that with the current behavior.

They might very well feel offended at the suggestion — or recommendation — to make adjustments and that’s ok, yet they have to be prepared to endure more of the same if they want to hold on to their current thinking, decision-making and actions.

We get to choose our character. We don’t get to choose our reputation. For some of us, only our character matters. For others of us, we only care about our reputation. For others still, we care about our character and reputation.

Meghan and Harry have to decide what they care about and what they are and aren’t willing to start doing and stop doing. The answers will determine what happens next and longer term.

Michael Toebe is the specialist at Reputation Quality, assisting people further build reputation as an asset and responsibly, ethically protecting, restoring or reconstructing its well-being.