Expected Reputation Bashing After Death
It may not be seen as respectful by many yet it will happen online if how people experienced or perceived you was highly negative
How you are being experienced and judged by different people in your professional and personal life is important to learn, know and understand if you care about how people feel about, and will talk about, you after you die — and what your family and friends will have to hear, see and feel.
One man’s widow and their family are going through the thick of that now and it is become an unexpected, deeply painful hardship for them.
Brief Backstory
Alex Salmond was the First Minister of Scotland and earned a reputation, according to media reports, for being a relentless advocate, worker and formidable political force for the country’s independence from the U.K.
However, he was also said to be confrontational and divisive. In addition he faced scandalous allegations. He did end up acquitted of 12 charges of attempted rape, sexual assault and indecent assault by nine women who had worked for him.
Salmond called the charges “deliberate fabrications for a political purpose.”
True or untrue?
His reputation kept taking massive hits. That wasn’t all, as his name “was damaged by the facts that he had not disputed, and by his barrister being overheard seeming to say, that (Salmond) could be regarded ‘as a sex pest,’” per reporting at The Week.
Salmond died in October of 2024 and has been since been called a “monumental figure” by U.K. Prime Minister Keir Starmer of the Labour Party. “He leaves behind a lasting legacy. As first minister of Scotland, he cared deeply about Scotland’s heritage, history and culture, as well as the communities he represented.”
Family Left to Deal With Post-Death Anger and Criticism
The Salmond family has been suffering from his passing and absence. That isn’t the only pain, and misery that they have had to endure and cope with the last 3 months.
Salmond’s widow, Moira, spoke out against her husband’s former long-time ally and replacement, Nicola Sturgeon, and other critics. She did not mention Sturgeon by name but the timing of her comments is important to note as they came after Sturgeon gave an interview to the Financial Times.
Mrs. Salmond issued a statement:
"My late husband, Alex Salmond, died on October 12, 2024. His memorial service was only six weeks ago.
"I, and the rest of the family, continue to grieve. Life will never be the same for any of us."
"In recent days, it has therefore caused me, and the wider family, great distress to read the comments of those who seem determined to damage his reputation, even in death.
"It is difficult for us to understand what motivates those interventions, especially when such comments are made in the knowledge that Alex cannot defend himself, as he would certainly have done.
"Those attacking him must know that the law does not allow us, his family, to protect his reputation from being defamed now that he is gone.
“Attacks by the living on the dead will seem to many as deeply unfair.
“My wish, and sincere hope, is that these attacks will now stop.
“I am therefore asking those involved to recognise that all they are doing is causing hurt and pain to his family. From this point on, please let Alex rest in peace.”
There are important points to unpack in this statement.
The family is grieving the loss of a family member, apparently a beloved one. The wound is still raw. Rough comments about Mr. Salmond’s misbehavior is making healing even more difficult.
While Mr. Salmond likely didn’t forecast that this would happen to his loved ones once he died, it can be reasonably argued that he has brought this pain on them.
Regrettably, he can’t speak up to protect them now. It’s their burden to assume, rightful or not. They didn’t ask for it. Mr. Salmond saddled them with it.
Mrs. Salmond and her family would like it to end and she is pleading for it. Will critics choose to stop or continue, figuratively speaking, to pile on by sharing their experiences and sharp-edged commentary?
The family loved Mr. Salmond and experienced and saw him differently than other people. Their request is normal: they were not the ones who mistreated people or allegedly committed illegal acts of a sexual nature.
Unless the family knowingly enabled and covered up any of Mr. Salmond’s misbehavior or illegal acts, they are deserving of a courtesy of sensitivity.
Yes, the deceased was a public figure and that makes him the “fair game” for media coverage and people speaking out against the harm they say he absolutely inflicted. That’s understandable.
Society will punish, even after death, those people’s names whose professionalism and ethics were shaky or poor — and those whose character was displeasing or ugly.
It’s something to understand and remember to 1) prevent significant errors with other people in our lives and 2) morally, promptly or urgently mitigate damages and make all required moral, corrective measures for other people’s healing.
This newsletter — Reputation Intelligence — is written by Michael Toebe, and is a product of Reputation Intelligence - Reputation Quality, a firm which helps individuals and organizations assure a greater peace of mind, provide stress relief through reliable decision analysis, consulting, advisory and communications.
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