Ethical Conflict Responses
What people who engage in this practice are doing
Being ethical within professional interactions and relationships is unappealing for too many people and organizations. Recipients of this type of experience may find it puzzling, frustrating, unacceptable or infuriating.
Reputation Intelligence decided not to personally address this topic. Instead it has sought sources to have a group discussion out of curiosity to learn what came from the viewpoints and what might be similar and different.
There are certain signals that problematic responses to conflict. Practitioners of this type of behavior don’t think that people on the other end are noticing, but they do.
“Manipulation is the biggest red flag and shows an unethical or immoral conflict response,” contends Iqbal Ahmad, the director at the Britannia School of Academics, a UK-based training provider, focusing on delivering courses for education professionals.
“This will include distorting facts and using gaslighting tactics to put the claims of other parties into disrepute,” he adds. “Similarly, personal attacks on the other parties to divert the attention from the subject matter is also an unethical practice that you might often experience.”
There is another clear signal for Altimese Nichole, the lead publicist and founder at the Ezer Agency, a brand development and strategy company.
“The blatant dismissal of a person or group of people, while prioritizing one's self-interest,” she says. “The statements or communication favoring one person or group while antagonizing, belittling — or being tone-deaf — to another.”
A lack of noble, quality character emerges and dominates an interaction.
They “often involve dishonesty, manipulation or a complete disregard for fairness,” says Joe Giranda, the director of sales and marketing at CFR Classic, a global shipping and logistics company specializing in international car shipping and relocation.
“For example, if someone resorts to blaming others without taking responsibility — or intentionally hides information to gain an advantage — that’s a red flag.”
He states there are other actions that are unethical
“Aggression, intimidation or making decisions purely for personal gain without considering the impact on others are also clear signs,” Giranda says. “This might look like making promises you can’t keep just to close a deal, which eventually damages trust.”
Nichole goes deeper.
“It can show up in their behavior toward their colleagues and peers,” she says of additional problems that may be noticed.
“This can show up as micro-aggression or dismissal of one's feelings, as well as cultural insensitivity. These behaviors can appear very subtle but can create a lot of toxicity within the workplace culture.”
“I have to deal with conflict management in my workplace and need to ensure that I provide an ethical and moral conflict response,” insists Harrison Tang, the co-founder and CEO at Spokeo, a people search engine.
“One of the unethical responses is being a hypocrite. This means that you say one thing but do another, applying different standards to yourself versus others.
“If you expect employees to be punctual and meet deadlines but consistently show up late to meetings or miss deadlines yourself, you are being a hypocrite. It will give rise to deeply-rooted negative sentiments among your employees.”
Conversely and generally speaking, there are behaviors of someone or an organization nobly, professionally conducting themselves in a positive manner.
“Honesty and transparency will be evident from every aspect of their communication,” Ahmad says. “They will own their mistakes and propose measures to right the wrong or take corrective actions to avoid the conflict in the future.
“They will listen actively and empathize with the situation of the party that feels to have been wronged. They will look to overcome hurdles to arrive at a fair and balanced solution to resolve the conflict, rather than making excuses that such hurdles are impossible to overcome.”
“A person or company that listens actively, admits when they’re wrong and works toward a solution that benefits all parties is showing strong moral character,” Giranda says.
He provides an example from his company.
“If we make a mistake with a shipment, we own it, communicate transparently and work quickly to make things right,” Giranda says, explaining that this commitment proves mutually beneficial. “This builds trust and long-term relationships.”
Professionals and organizations that open themselves up, with vulnerability and poise, to learning about people’s experiences, can help drive more impressive practices.
“One of the signs that indicates I'm conducting myself in an ethical and moral manner is to increase my reliability by soliciting feedback from my employees on my actions and decisions,” Tang says.
“By doing so, I aim to demonstrate that even leaders need to reflect on themselves, which encourages employees to adopt a similar mindset of self-reflection and continuous improvement.”
People can choose to care more about being, with evidence and proof, or becoming more professional and trustworthy through higher moral standards.
“The key here is self-awareness and intentionality,” Giranda says.
“I believe we need to consistently remind ourselves to pause and think: ‘Is this decision fair and honest? How will it affect others?’ It’s about staying calm and not letting emotions dictate our actions.
“Regularly reflecting on our values — like integrity, respect and empathy — helps us stay grounded. For me, I often think, ‘Would I feel good about this decision if it were public?’ That simple check keeps me aligned with my ethics.”
“As professionals, we need to have strong values and principles so that we build a great rapport and trust in the long-run,” Ahmad recommends. “This is only possible if we are able to apply these values consistently in all our professional affairs, including conflict resolution.”
In pursuit of this practice, he suggests that, “Admitting fault or responsibility where it’s due will help us earn the respect of key stakeholders, which will help us make the most of opportunities in hand.”
This can be uncomfortable for people and certain organizational cultures and something they avoid yet there is value, Ahmad says, in working well in the discomfort.
“It might be a short-term loss to admit fault and take responsibility of an adverse situation but it will help us create a professional image of a trustworthy person or organization,” he proposes.
“This increased level of accountability will also mean that we will learn from our mistake and hopefully not find ourselves in the same position again in the future.
“Self-awareness and internal accountability are key,” Nichole says.
“If people are aware of their own motives, unconscious biases and motivations while also holding themselves to a moral standard of excellence, they will check themselves before demonstrating immoral or unethical behavior.”
There is a clear reality that she makes an effort to unmask.
“It's also important to acknowledge that everyone's standard of morality varies based on their beliefs and internal expectations of themselves and others.,” Nichole adds.
“This is why a code of conduct is essential for creating a baseline of understanding for all employees, contractors and suppliers.”
When ethical conduct is a commitment, catching oneself when decisions and behavior are drifting off course becomes a top-of-mind, primary focus point.
“There should be a continual check-in with (one)self to ensure alignment in beliefs, behaviors and actions,” Nichole recommends. “This doesn't make us foolproof of mistakes but it doesn't provide us quick course correction if we drift out of alignment with our core values.”
Emotional control is a determining factor in success. Not everyone realizes it.
“When you feel defensive or tempted to cut corners, it’s a sign to pause and check in with yourself,” Giranda says. “Asking, ‘Am I reacting or responding thoughtfully?’ can help you course-correct.
“In teams, having open feedback loops also helps. I always encourage my team to speak up if they feel we’re straying from our values. It’s easier to stay on track when accountability is part of the culture.”
Relying on oneself or one’s culture may prove insufficient. There could be a remedy for it.
“The best way to keep a check on our own actions is to have a mentor with whom we can discuss our decisions and feelings to those decisions — and to get regular feedback from peers,” Ahmad recommends.
“Regular reflective practice will also help a great deal in identifying negative or stubborn thoughts, including an urge to win at all costs. Part of this reflective practice should be an evaluation of whether the gains we seek are short term — a quick win — or long term — rapport and trust and brand recognition.”
Making this practice a personal and professional standard will present the opportunity for a desirable payoff.
“When we hold ourselves to a certain moral and ethical standard, we can confidently stand behind the things we say and do with conviction, even if the outcome isn't perceived as favorable,” Nichole says. “This can also give others permission and a safe space to do the same.”
There is relationship capital that will be built, strengthened, grown or when needed, restored.
“We can create a personal or professional brand that people will trust and will be happy to do business with,” Ahmad says.
“This improved reputation of integrity and fairness will mean that businesses will be happy to work with us knowing that we won’t prioritize our interest over theirs — and will do our best to meet their own needs as well.”
Organizations aren’t going to accomplish much with stakeholders without consistent ethical conduct.
“In business and life, trust is everything,” Giranda says. “When you handle conflicts with integrity, you build stronger relationships, earn respect and foster long-term success.
“Acting ethically gives you peace of mind and confidence because you know you’ve done the right thing. Long-term, this leads to a more positive reputation and more meaningful connections.”
Influencing or inspiring people to want to be more ethically responsive in disputes or hardened conflicts doesn’t have to be difficult.
“We must first be the model and example if we want and desire others to lead their lives and careers with good intentions leading the way,” Nichole says.
Giranda is like minded.
“When people see you handling conflict with honesty and respect, it encourages them to do the same,” he says.
The best decision making when it comes to this approach is from within, intrinsic motivation.
“It's truly a personal choice,” Nichole states, “but we cultivate and foster the domino effect by being what we desire to experience. It all begins within before we see the ripple effect outward.”
How we interact with colleagues matters.
“Open communication helps too,” Giranda says. “Discussing shared values and recognizing ethical behavior can inspire others.
“I’ve found that celebrating integrity within teams makes it part of the culture. Also, creating a safe space where people can voice concerns without fear of judgment goes a long way. It shows that ethical behavior is not just expected but valued.”
Thinking back on experiences and conversing about them is a useful habit.
“Sharing our own stories of how we have always valued our integrity and how it has helped us create a strong reputation will inspire others to follow in our footsteps,” Ahmad says.
“This is why the role of a mentor is very important to learn the wisdom of protecting our reputation of being a person with a strong character and morals.”
Moving away from unethical thinking and follow through, whether intended or not, includes one’s circle of influence.
“We must all avoid being part of a network of people who always have short-term gains in their mind, without any regard whatsoever to our long-term reputation and brand recognition.”
This newsletter — Reputation Intelligence — is written by Michael Toebe, and is a product of Reputation Intelligence - Reputation Quality, a firm which helps individuals and organizations assure a greater peace of mind, provide stress relief through reliable decision analysis, consulting, advisory and communications.
Additional Resources:
10 Principles of Ethical Conflict Resolution: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10-principles-ethical-conflict-resolution-michael-mike-/
Healthy Conflict Resolution in the Workplace Begins with Ethical Leadership: https://www.mandtsystem.com/2022/02/07/healthy-conflict-resolution-in-the-workplace-begins-with-ethical-leadership/