Envy and Reputation: Understanding It
When Envy is Overheated, Danger Ahead
Envy is part of humanity. Always has been, always will be.
People sometimes can be driven by it to harm you, your name and reputation in situations where you have not committed a moral "crime" or a legal one.
This article is not about those who commit wrongdoing and then claim envy is at the root of the blowback exploring envy and connecting it to the risk of unsavory attacks on reputation.
The inspiration for this piece came from Rob Henderson's Newsletter, which I highly recommend. The particular issue that this piece is based on is entitled, "Evil Eyes and Tall Poppies: Envy, Schadenfreude and Social Comparison."
Note: Some of his content is free and some requires a paid subscription.
Envy
"What is envy?" Henderson wrote. "Plainly, it is the emotional consequence of upward social comparison...It is a painful emotion. People might say they will occasionally feel pride, or greed, or lust, but seldom do people confess to feelings of envy. To confess to envy is to acknowledge that you believe someone else has more status than you. Few people are eager to intentionally lower themselves in this way."
Insightful, no? How often have people confessed envy to you?
Maybe some people close to you have honestly done so, yet in my lifetime -- personally and professionally -- no one has done it, even when the facts, evidence and proof has been that it's been clearly present.
Henderson communicated history to illustrate how envy can work:
"Sir Walter Raleigh was one of the most brilliant men at the court of Queen Elizabeth of England. He was a talented poet, writer, scientist, entrepreneur, and sea captain. Moreover, he was a handsome, dashing courtier who charmed his way into becoming one of the Queen’s favorites.
"Eventually, he suffered a fall from grace, leading to prison and, finally, the executioner’s axe. Raleigh could not understand the stubborn opposition he faced from the other courtiers who conspired against him.
"He did not understand that he had not only made no attempt to disguise the degree of his many talents, but he had also imposed them on others, making a show of his versatility. He thought it impressed people and won him friends," Henderson wrote.
“In fact, it made him silent enemies, people who felt inferior to him and did all they could to ruin him the moment he tripped up or made the slightest mistake. In the end, the reason he was executed was treason, but envy will use any cover it finds to mask it destructiveness.” (Robert Greene, author)
What can we learn from this story and Greene's comment? A lot, don't you think?
For one, not all humans are going to be happy for whatever good you are experiencing in life. If they think you flaunt it, the unrest, disgust and resentment can grow. In the end, bad things can come your way.
Some people will look to chop you down in ways, little or big and unethical, immoral or illegal, for reasons they won't attribute to envy.
But that's the bitter root and fuel for their attacks on you and your name, reputation, life and peace.
Two Types of Envy
Henderson says that there are two types of envy: benign and malicious.
Benign being a healthy version inspiring us to strive to be like another person and malicious involving, "hostile thoughts and intentions aimed at harming the person you are envious of," he wrote.
It's important to realize, Henderson adds, that, "People can also feel envy about others' happiness, relationships, and chances of future success.
"Some people, especially those high on dispositional envy or on the dark triad personality traits, will subsequently try to thwart those things and undermine the happiness or positive feelings of their rivals.
"Some people, for example, might feel envious of others’ happiness and intentionally withhold praise or warmth from them in order to bring them down a little," he wrote.
Powerful, no? Informative and educational to some, I suspect. Lightbulb moment.
Henderson posed an interesting question.
"Who are the targets of your envy?"
If you are feeling envious, he writes that research studies show that "similarity is one of the strongest predictors of whether you envy someone." He explains why that is: "The people you envy are those that you could imagine yourself being."
There are a multitude of stories -- and maybe you have one yourself -- that detail people driven by this "disease of me" and the hellfire that they can and have inflicted on other people and their loved ones. Respected reputations have been badly damaged or ruined.
Malicious envy is extremely dangerous to any targeted individual's well-being in a multitude of ways: emotional, psychological, physical, job and career wise, financially, business, exciting opportunities, relationship wise, family wise, etc.
It is helpful therefore to realize what could be happening in your life and why. If you even suspect it, it is wise to communicate it to a professional so it can be discussed, researched and skillfully addressed for safety reasons.
When someone is, as the saying goes, hell-bent on going on an envy (anger and lust)-fueled attack on you, you're going to feel it, it's going to hurt and you might find it shockingly confusing and difficult to fully or even partially protect and defend yourself.
The encouraging news is that there is help available.
It may or may not be law enforcement and the courts, it may or may not be public relations professionals. Help though is available in many, if not most circumstances however, from someone.
It's important to learn how to "stop the bleeding" so to speak, mitigate damages, clarify what is happening and determine an ethical, moral, responsible strategy that can be intelligently implemented to successfully address the stress, damages and attacks to protect, restore or reconstruct a respected reputation.
Envy-driven attacks have resulted in people's mental health deteriorating and subsequently leading to suicide or violence. It's led to people draining their bank accounts to defend themselves. It's unnecessarily caused relationships to be negatively impacted or ruined. It's changed people for the worse.
Yet envy can be combatted.
Michael Toebe is the creator and writer of the Reputation Intelligence newsletter (available on LinkedIn and Substack), formerly known as Reputation Notes.
He helps individuals and organizations further build and ethically, responsibly protect, restore or reconstruct reputation, as a reputation consultant, ongoing advisor and communications specialist at Reputation Quality and the author of "Your Reputation Signature" and "On Apology, What We Can Learn and Do Better."
Both available by writing Michael.Toebe@Reputation-Quality.com
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