'Don't Shoot the Message'
Plus bonus analysis and professional opinion of specific stories about reputation
Our emotions can drive less-than-logical logical reactions and that can be trouble for us if perceptions, the meaning assumed and judgments are aligned with what isn’t factual. We can too easily trust people when they communicate, even though they may not be worthy of that support. We also trust other people way too much.
This past week I came across a video analyzing an important point in a book — “Thinking in Bets, Making Smarter Decisions When You Don’t Have All the Facts.”
Here’s what the reviewer communicated:
"Applying the same standard of evaluation regardless of the source... don't 'shoot' the message just because you don't like the messenger... when evaluating decision making and reasoning, we're often too close minded when we're taking in messages from a source that we don't like and too trusting when taking in ideas from a source we do like."
We know it’s true. We sometimes trust the wrong “trustworthy” people and distrust those whom we look down upon, regardless of the situation.
That makes us vulnerable to bad judgment, inaccurate beliefs and supporting people who are troublesome and disbelieving and not supporting those whom are deserving. Objectivity is really difficult sometimes. We know this to be a fact, no matter how intelligent we are or believe we are in all areas of our life.
Emotional reasoning and bias is simple and easy and sadly, more common.
Bonus
Morgan Wallen is flying high in his career but is he flying too high to the sun with his behavior? He’s had problems. The latest? Throwing a chair off a rooftop bar. That earned Wallen three counts of reckless endangerment relating to the two police officers below, danger to the public and disorderly conduct.
Wallen has to find a way to control decision-making that is a danger to his future self and causes risk or “upset” to others. Maybe he can do this on his own or maybe it’s time or past time for some additional, effective assistance from a professional — and commitment to the process of improving.
I hope Morgan Wallen does see the risk he’s putting his future at and doesn’t delay in seeking assistance for his errors and impulses, which reportedly are usually fueled by alcohol.
Divorcing your spouse, in large part because of the negative impact they are having and could continue to have on your professional reputation.
Actress Isla Fisher is reportedly divorcing comedian and actor Sacha Baron Cohen for risk management reasons.
“A source told The Sun Isla was 'starting to get embarrassed' about the claims in the book (Rebel Wilson’s about Cohen’s misbehavior), which acted as 'a catalyst' in her decision to announce their split and allowed her to protect her 'own career and reputation,’” report Dan Woodland and Eve Buckland in the Daily Mail.
While there were other significant problems in the marriage, Wilson’s revelations in her book of extreme sexual misconduct was said to the straw that broke the camel’s back. “Those close to (Fisher) said it was starting to get embarrassing with all of the allegations that were spilling out of Rebel's book,” a source told The Sun.
Cohen became a liability, to his wife and children and she, the source infers, had enough and decided to move on from SBC as her husband. He’s not the only one that this has happened to so it’s a lesson for others to consider in their marriages.
This is not a case of Fisher not standing by her man. This is SBC leading Fisher to doubt her safety — professionally and personally — to remain married. She decided it was not safe and decided to travel a life path without him as a married partner.
Having your spouse file for divorce is one thing, reputation wise. Having it reported in the media and some of the reasons being highly unsavory and shameful is another.
SBC has that problem to deal with now and while it may not ruin his career it will absolutely, significantly, negatively impact it. That’s a task that must be on his “to-do” list and also his “must-do” list.
The courts ordered $3 million to be paid to a former executive, Terry McDonough, for "false and defamatory" statements the Arizona Cardinals of the National Football League made about him to the media, per a Tisha Thompson report at ESPN.com.
“Jeffrey Mishkin, the arbitrator appointed by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, determined the Cardinals and their owner, Michael Bidwill, defamed McDonough "with malice" in a multipage statement to media organizations that accused McDonough of spousal abuse and neglect of his disabled adult daughter -- allegations McDonough has denied,” Thompson writes.
That an organization would stoop this low to discredit a former employee is surreal. I wanted to add a colorful adjective before “surreal” yet decided that was unwise. The organization’s powerful team of attorneys didn’t successfully, unethically defend leadership on this egregiousness.
"Despite what we consider to be a fundamentally unfair arbitration process, Terry McDonough is the first person ever to win against an NFL owner," McDonough’s attorney, Michael Caspino said in a statement. "Why the NFL has not held (owner) Michael Bidwill accountable remains a mystery."
The Cardinals’ response?
"We are pleased with the arbitrator's decision dismissing all of Terry McDonough's employment claims and finding that there was nothing improper about his dismissal from the team. As for Mr. McDonough's other claim, we respect the arbitrator's determination that our initial statement went too far. We accept responsibility for that statement and are grateful that the arbitration is now resolved."
Dismissed were allegations of unlawful retaliation, intentional infliction of emotional distress and invasion of privacy.
This company statement is all sorts of “wow,” in an unprofessional, self-absorbed manner. The organization flexes and holds its chest out arrogantly about what went well, even though what McDonough claimed could be factually true (just not proved well well enough legally in the case) and then most casually admitting it’s obnoxious, untrue, hurtful, damaging defamation was just a “statement” that “went too far.”
This seems, to few people’s surprise, a case of a large company winning on certain points because of its financial and legal resources not available to the common citizen and then bragging about its innocence when it could have committed wrongdoing that did not meet some arbitrary legal standard or satisfy legal subjectivity.
The stain is there against the organization. For McDonough, at least he gained court validation and damages. The Cardinals are happy to happy to mitigate damages and have something to crow about. That tells you something, what’s most important to them. Image management.
“Venting when angry seems sensible. Conventional wisdom suggests expressing anger can help us quell it, like releasing steam from a pressure cooker.
“But this common metaphor is misleading, according to a new meta-analytic review. Researchers at Ohio State University analyzed 154 studies on anger, finding little evidence that venting helps,” reports Russell McClendon at Science Alert. “In some cases, it could increase anger.”
"I think it's really important to bust the myth that if you're angry you should blow off steam – get it off your chest," says senior author Brad Bushman, a communication scientist. "Venting anger might sound like a good idea, but there's not a shred of scientific evidence to support catharsis theory."
Why’s this important to reputation? We think venting is necessary and helpful yet its practice could create greater, dangerous problems for us, like rumination, which can lead to ongoing distress and possibly, really poor destructive and self-destructive follow-up behavior in our anger that will hurt us and others we care about, in addition to other people.
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Michael Toebe is a reputation consultant, advisor and communications specialist at Reputation Intelligence: Reputation Quality, assisting individuals and organizations with further building reputation as an asset or ethically protecting, restoring or reconstructing it.
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