Believable or Not: 'I'm (Really) Not Racist'
Using an objective lens, does this person's explanation seem possible, no matter what it looks and feels like?
We judge quickly and oftentimes harshly, based on heuristics from our experiences or observations. We can jump to conclusions, when triggered. We know it. We just don’t like talking about it. Could that be happening in the following story or is the judgment many people feel based on facts and accurate perceptions?
Author Who Review-Bombed Writers of Color: ‘I'm Not Racist’, is a recent article by Brooke Leigh Howard, who writes at the Daily Beast. The subtitle explains more: In an exclusive interview, (author) Cait Corrain said that a psychotic breakdown—prompted by substance abuse—led to a series of uncharacteristic actions that were beyond her control.
This article at Reputation Intelligence will not focus on the details on the story. No, instead, it will focus on a part, an important segment, of Corrain’s response, because it’s meaningful.
Even if the subject matter doesn’t excite you, the Daily Beast interview and piece is fascinating because of Corrain’s admittance of the behavior, understanding those affected might, to some degree, feel — and the detailed, seemingly plausible explanation for her behavior and the fuzzy thinking, distorted, still-wrong intent behind it.
The intent just might not be as assumed and that’s important.
There is a much deeper and wider story than critics initially knew and might now, even care to know.
First, let’s take a look at the social awareness, clarity and maturity expressed.
“I think that (the authors that I actually targeted) are allowed to be as angry with me as they want to be,” Corrain says. “I think that I hurt them in a way that if somebody had hurt me like that, that I don't know what I would do with that level of anger. I do not want to invalidate their pain, their anger, their feelings because I think that would be completely inappropriate for me to do.”
Notice that she’s not expecting a gentle reaction to her misbehavior and selfishness. She knows she too would be furious, rageful even, if someone had done to her what she committed against others.
She doesn’t want to communicate anythingn in any way that might add to the hurt emotions. People might still dislike or resent her yet she communicates far better than a lot of other perpetrators. There is some level of remorse present here.
“It is important to me that there are no more lies and secrets and that I'm not trying to hide the truth because all that did was cause a lot of harm to myself and others,” Corrain said. “I think that in losing everything, I realized how much I've actually had.”
See that she is stepping into the light and away from darkness where deceit and lies rule. Many people are capable of doing this yet they choose to not do it and still get supported by friends, family, colleagues, bystanders and authority.
Corrain, Leigh Howard writes, says she deserved for her agent, publisher, and distributor to let her go. Corrain reportedly later “checked into an in-patient psychiatric facility to regain a sense of control,” Leigh Howard writes.
This is a sign of effort to turn a life around. What is also notable is how Corrain proves that she knows there is work, hard and scary, to do.
“I do want to make sure that I apologize directly to the people that I’ve hurt,” she said. “It felt unacceptable to me to just leave people hanging without any acknowledgement that I knew what I had done and that they deserved to have their pain acknowledged and that I had to own that.”
What percentage of offenders think or talk in a similar manner? I will tell you, from years of observation and experience, maybe a reality you too can back up: a very small, minute, almost infinitesimal percentage.
People can think what they will about Corrain. I will say however that how she is communicating is an extremely rare display of understanding, responsibility, remorse and a willingness to try to do what should be done morally, what needs to be done to be a better human and what has to be done to right a life that has gone way off course and into the rocks. The vast majority of people who fail others do not and will not act honestly, humbly and courageously.
Corrain’s initial behavior, it can be argued, was gross and shameful. Her response to the fallout, it should be honestly considered, is a concerted effort to do what only a few people ever attempt.
I’m not insisting to her critics that she has to be forgiven or respected. I am asserting that she has moved beyond the typical fear — or cowardice and arrogance — that is common when egregiously erring and hurting others.
That is worthy of noticing and acknowledging.
Michael Toebe is a reputation consultant, advisor and communications specialist at Reputation Intelligence - Reputation Quality, assisting individuals and organizations with further building reputation as an asset or ethically protecting, restoring or reconstructing it.
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