Answers to Your Reputation Questions
NEW: The Reputation Q&A Feature
A new feature is being introduced today where you can submit questions and have them answered in this space. Send your questions to Michael.Toebe@Reputation-Quality.com. I will answer as many ones as I feel I can intelligently respond to and be helpful.
Question: “Can a person who's gained a negative reputation (for anything) ever improve their reputation?”
Answer: In the overwhelming majority of situations, yes, absolutely, someone can improve their reputation, significantly.
At times, the “negative” reputation may not become shiny and positive with everyone but one’s life, generally speaking, can be turned around to be more peaceful and happy.
Something I see semi-regularly and may be helpful to mention is that catastrophic thinking, where people with a reputation that is in bad shape and is bringing them painful assume, falsely I might add, that it will always be that way.
It doesn’t have to be their reality if someone is courageous and willing to do what is necessary to make the improvements. More on this later in this feature.
Question: “Can you fix a bad reputation without changing who you are?”
Answer: This is a good one. Let’s briefly break it down. Can you (yes, you can) “fix” (usually, yes) a bad reputation (please define “bad”) without changing (likely not) who you are (I presume you are talking about behavior).
So, the good news: yes, you can almost always “fix” a “bad” reputation.
Now for the more sobering news. While you may not need to change everything about you or something you feel is socially normal, you may very well have to change some thinking, belief, impulse and habit that is leading to problems that are negatively impacting trust, respect, interactions, relationships and reputation.
Question: “How can I fix my reputation when it is the worst it can ever be?”
Answer: Before I can intelligently answer “how” it would be beneficial to know the details of what brought about the reputation damage and the impact that has had on others, as well as yourself.
I will presume the situation is messy since you write that “it is the worst it can ever be.”
However, and I hope this is encouraging, maybe your reputation is salvageable and the pain you are experiencing can be mitigated or healed. As I mentioned above in answering a previous question, there are people, at times, who assume their reputation will never be the same and that’s not factual.
That is only true in the absolute worst of situations and yes, at times, with the worst of humanity. Most people assuming their lives will be forever miserable, reputationally speaking, are holding on to a false belief.
Question: See if you notice a pattern with these questions from three different people: 1) “Is there hope after a ruined reputation?” 2) “I got a bad reputation and I am feeling very bad, always thinking about the past. What should I do? 3) “How do I live with having a horrible/destroyed reputation?”
Answer: Yes, there is hope for almost everyone. I think you and I will agree some offenses are so horrific that reputation correction is near impossible to impossible but statistically speaking, that is a relatively very, very small amount of people in the world.
The big point I’ll make here is a person, once they admit to themselves the reputation is not ideal, tenuous or poor and they know positive steps are critically necessary, they must fight the natural emotions and psychology and be willing to take the bold required steps, no matter what, to get through the “wilderness” so to speak, so they can reach the point where they want their reputation and themselves to end up.
Not everyone is willing and strong enough to take those steps. And that’s ok. It can absolutely be scary. Yet that decision keeps people stuck in pain.
Michael Toebe is the founder and specialist at Reputation Quality, serving and helping successful people further build reputation as a trustworthy asset and ethically, responsibly protecting, restoring or reconstructing its health and strength.