A Different Way of Looking at and Responding to Possibly Being 'Wrong'
Maybe the reality that we're incorrect doesn't have to be so painful after all
“I was wrong”
If can be quite difficult, if not painful emotionally and psychologically to come to this conclusion in our minds yet might be worse is the idea of communicating it to others, either verbatim or with a change in course of action. Making ourselves vulnerable is a hard day for our ego.
Seth Godin, entrepreneur, author and speaker, wrote about it, saying that admitting to ourselves that we might not be correct is “a hard sell.” That’s an understatement sometimes, isn’t it? The problem when we resist being humble and honest about it though is clear, Godin says. It leads to consequences.
“Which is why we so easily get stuck.”
Being “stuck” is rarely helpful, without hurt or a place where we are our best yet we find that particular dysfunctional comfort zone too appealing to want to move. We can then compound that shortsightedness, Godin says, and he is blunt about how we go about it.
“We get stuck defending what we already decided. Because it feels easier to defend than it does to be wrong.”
Stop saying “wrong” Seth! My ego is offended.
He tells a story about how his incorrect (more palatable?) assumptions, decisions and actions cost him dearly.
“In 1993, in my role as founder of an internet company, I rejected the idea of the world wide web. I saw Mosaic (and then Netscape) and decided it was stupid, a dead end, a technology not worthy of our tiny company’s time.
“That decision cost me a billion dollars.”
Even then, Godin admitted, it still wasn’t easy to admit his errors. But he proposes an idea as a solution to help our psychology and ego not be so triggered, defensive and well, stupid. Here’s Godin’s simple communication re-framing of the situation where we haven’t come to accurate conclusions prior and we have now come to realize the hard truth.
“The alternative is, ‘based on new information, I can make a new decision.’”
That doesn’t hurt as much, does it? I like it. What about you?
“Not wrong, simply underinformed.”
OK, maybe we’re babying our ego a tiny bit and this could be called by some excuse making but maybe it’s factual too — we were underinformed. That’s plausible, right?
If we’re still married to sunk cost fallacy in our thinking and actions, Godin reminds us of invaluable wisdom.
“The cost of a do-over is often less than the cost of sticking with a decision that was made in good faith, on insufficient information.”
In the end, he makes a comforting point, I say.
“We don’t have to be wrong. But we regularly get a chance to make things more right.”
When we show the humility, courage, resilience and commitment to rule our thinking and decision making in this manner, good can come from it.
We can course correct quickly, mitigating tangible and intangible costs and feel good that we are smart enough to have learned well from errors. That’s not all though. With others, we rebuild trust or affirm how people see us, helping our reputation with others being viewed and judged as positive.
Michael Toebe is the founder and specialist at Reputation Quality, a practice that helps successful individuals and organizations further build reputation as an relationship asset or when necessary, ethically protect, restore or reconstruct trust and reputation health and strength.