A Concise Approach for Improving Communication and Gaining Greater Access to Organizational Intelligence
Whether it's professional or personal leadership and relationships, Nik Kinley's recommendations can add a layer of 'insurance' to your life
Leadership and the organization may not be extracting all the available, present and future value of its collective intelligence. That’s a fire that requires immediate attention and remedy.
Nik Kinley wants to offer you an approach to strongly consider applying to the current and future trouble. A psychologist, psychotherapist, leadership consultant and coach, he wrote, figuratively speaking, about his prescription in a recent article at SmartBrief.
I’ll hit on the highlights that most commanded and held my attention in hopes to inform and inspire some thought to see if you believe it’s worth trying for the benefits.
The headline for the article is Managing Organizational Narcissism yet if you can grant me a simple favor, I would recommend not getting turned off or bogged down in the mud with that often inflammatory or offensive word: narcissism, because that’s not the focus of this article. Honestly.
Today is not about labeling people. It’s about the potential, simple, practical fix for the unwanted, taxing, costly behavior and interactions.
In short, what Kinley communicated is about the strategy of extending questions, stepping back and providing people the runway and airspace to talk, listening well and choosing how to skillfully respond. There’s more to it yet that’s the structure.
“Leaders and organizations must actively seek out, encourage and reward debate and questioning,” Kinley wrote.
The Kickoff Question
When you know how to inspire deeper thinking and people feel that they can responsibly, expertly speak their mind and are expected to, you’re likely to gather intelligence and get the most out of your collective intel.
Kinley tells a brief story to illustrate how to kick off honest, insightful communication through a particular catalyst as a human conversation prompt.
“I once worked with a CEO whose trademark question was, ‘What do you think?’” he wrote. “Everyone quickly learned that walking into his office meant you had to bring an opinion.
“He didn’t care much what the view was, but he was irritated if you had none,” he added. “And it worked. The lesson: if you want people to speak up, invite them to do so. Keep asking questions. Push for perspectives as though they’re fuel because for a leader, they are.”
This opening of doors and inviting people “in” and raising the bar for communication may not always result in pleasant findings yet the odds are it will be beneficial and welcomed far more than it is regretted.
It also will act as “smoke alarm” and risk management. As an added benefit, you will learn of opportunities that may have otherwise passed by you.
Are You Slamming the Door or Opening It for People
It’s a pointed question because the answer determines what you will know now and in the future and what you won’t ever learn that you may come to deeply regret.
“Just as important is how you react when people do speak,” Kinley wrote. “Even if you disagree, respond constructively. That’s harder than it sounds, because sooner or later someone will say something irritating.”
The reality: your reaction matters because bad attitudes and poor emotional and behavioral regulation, blow ups, the silent treatment or any passive or passive-aggressive move “silences voices and leaves you in an echo chamber,” Kinley warns.
Confession Time
I’ve experienced both, if you want to know the truth.
I’ve had to endure experiences engaging people in stressful or miserable encounters where I or others were not invited in to detail and explain thinking and I’ve been the person reacting wrongly (with family years ago) because of my impatience and not giving space and respect to people to be fully heard out, even if I disagreed with the perceptions, accuracy, truthfulness and feelings of what was being communicated.
You want to speculate as to the result? Disconnection. Moving forward, not learning what I wanted and reasonably needed to know. Peace of mind: turned upside down.
Kinley is correct. How you react matters, a lot.
What’s interesting to me today is that I’ve far more often been on that sharp end of the sword myself where other people’s reactions led me to choosing silence and safety, even if that wasn’t all that I needed and wanted.
We choose: do we open the door and invite people in to communicate in a fair environment or do we slam that door in their face? While there is nuance involved, our outcomes do get impacted.
You probably recognize that Kinley’s points are focused on regular invitations to share “intelligence” and the receptiveness in those times: in words, “What do you think” and dovetailing off of what you hear and being trustworthy when we invite people into conversations and discussions, by responding respectfully and responsibly.
This is going to improve professional and personal relationships, reputation, interactions and very likely, the frequency of quality, desirable outcomes.
Michael Toebe is a specialist for analyzing opportunities, risks and decisions, providing professional opinion and consulting, advising and conducting communications, all in the context of trust, (professional and personal) relationships and reputation. He has worked in media, public relations, media relations, conflict management and negotiation. Additionally, he has experience providing opinion in court cases and writing guides.
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