There can come a point in our lives where we’re unhappy with the patterns we’ve developed and we decide it’s no one’s fault but our own. It might take a long while to get to that point, if we ever do, yet, if we can emotionally, psychologically get through to ourselves, we can stand a good chance of correcting course.

“I did need to call myself out on some sh*t,” said Academy Award-winning actor and author Matthew McConaughey about one specific time in his life decades ago.

He detailed his self discovery and sharp, piercing self talk to host Steven Bartlett, on an episode of The Diary of a CEO podcast.

“‘I need to say the buck stops here with you McConaughey,” the actor recalled. “I need you to stop becoming a repeat offender’ … I was missing the mark.”

Think of what it requires character wise to develop the self awareness, honesty and courage to call oneself a “repeat offender” and put the burden of correction on oneself. That’s what McConaughey did, because he was sick of his decision-making and repetitive behavior and character errors.

Decades ago, I heard self-help leader and personality Tony Robbins say that we often don’t move change until we’ve experienced enough pain. McConaughey may have reached that point. He finally decided he was going to do life differently.

“I didn’t want to keep forgiving myself… and repeat and do the same sh*t again,” he explained.

He passionately continued on about it with Bartlett, remembering that time and talking to himself about it in an angry manner.

“‘I know what I’m doing and I keep doing it! Cut the sh*t, McConaughey. Quit giving yourself that ‘out,’ that parachute, even though you might have it,” he said to himself.

“I needed to strongarm myself, look in the mirror and say, ‘It’s on you,’ because it is!”

While not everyone will prove capable of doing for themselves what McConaughey did, it’s highly probable many more people could, rather than can’t do it.

It’s knowing how to communicate best with oneself and identify what needs adjusting and why — and then focusing on the steps and the plan to create a high-probability of a successful, lasting outcome.

It may require some trial and error yet it has to start with clear, accurate thinking, strong self talk to lead ourselves, the willingness to listen and be humble and honest. the desire and expectation of improvement and the commitment to it.

McConaughey made it work for him and many of us can do it too.

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Analysis and perspective on the stories and concepts that reveal how reputation is built, lost and restored.

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Caught red-handed cheating in a scandal and resented, mocked and condemned.

It won’t be forgotten. Yet that said, Carlos Beltrán has, in a sense, been forgiven because it has been announced that he has been elected to the highest honor an individual can receive in his profession.

Beltrán is headed to a Major League Baseball Hall of Fame induction despite being “the only player mentioned by name in the 2017 Houston Astros‘ sign-stealing scandal,” reported ESPN News Services.

He talked about the uncomfortable, difficult realities of the negative feelings about his name, actions and those of his teammates and Beltrán being rewarded, as if the unethical behavior never happened. His comments are worth examining.

“Honestly, I know that’s part of my story,” Beltrán said. “There’s no doubt that as a team, we altogether put ourselves in that position.”

He’s correct, he and his co-workers earned the stamp of disapproval and that will remain part of his story. Beltrán will carry the “stain” or “wart” of “scarlet letter,” so to speak, with him for years to come.

And at the same time, he will enjoy the status and financial rewards of being a member of the Hall of Fame for his professional achievements.

“As a group and as an organization, we also felt being able to find a way to take advantage of the opposing team is something that every team will do, whatever it takes, to win in baseball,” Beltrán told ESPN.

Rationalization. Not everyone does it.

“When you hear the name Carlos Beltrán, that’s something that’s going to be attached to my name, and at the same time, that doesn’t really define the person that I am,” he admitted and argued.

That’s an arguable point. What he did may not be fully who he is, yet the choices that he and his teammates made were not judged to be sportsmanlike and honorable.

They were not respected, they were deemed wrong and it created anger and disgust, by almost all media and fans. The wrongdoing did not result in having a championship taken back and didn’t prevent Beltrán from making the HOF.

Most people will long or forever look upon it unfavorably.

Despite that reality, Beltrán did make a point worthy of discussion.

“Perfection is part of no one’s life,” he stated, which is another form of subtle admission of his (and his team’s) misconduct.

His play clearly helped him earn entrance into the HOF as Beltrán was one of four players ever to reach 2,700 hits, 400 homers, 1,500 runs and 300 steals, joining Barry Bonds, Willie Mays and Alex Rodriguez.

Yet, as often argued here, human beings, in general and critics, specifically, don’t expect “perfection.” They expect ethical and moral decision making and a sense of duty towards responsibility and fairness.

Should Beltrán, for his impressive career, have been denied a Hall of Fame ending?

It’s a debate. Yet the decision-makers decided he was forgivable and worthy.

Interestingly enough, two teammates on that 2017 Houston team — Jose Altuve and Justin Verlander — are also guarantees to end up in Cooperstown. While Verlander was not thought to be significantly involved or involved at all, Altuve has received his fair share of negative judgment as well. Gerrit Cole, a member of the 2018 team, additionally has a chance to earn enshrinement.

Sometimes, rule breakers and “cheaters” win and undeservedly indulge in highly fruitful ways, even when they are known to be operating “below the line,” and playing by a different set of rules (their own).

Should those weak-minded decisions and benefits be held against them forever and in all ways? That’s the question that society regularly grapples with, with many saying “yes” and many also arguing against it, for a variety of reasons.

Beltrán’s reputation, with certain people, won’t be clean. He will be respected and loved by some, detested by others. His errors, objectively, were ones of commission.

Some people forgive, some don’t.

Beltrán however is another example however of someone who was considered more than his errors in judgment and recovered from harsh judgment to be accepted again and revered for the work he did in his industry.

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Michael Toebe and Reputation Intelligence serve clients with matters of trust, stakeholder relationships and proactive and responsive communications.

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My background includes work in research and analysis, media, conflict management, public relations, crisis communications and crisis management.

A comeback is possible, in sports and with trust, reputation and society.

Writing at The Dig, Sholnn Z. Freeman, in Q&A fashion, helps tell the important story of Stanley Andrisse, Ph.D., who went from confinement in a maximum-security prison to a Howard University College of Medicine professor.

It’s a story of someone who, by much of the society’s judgment, shouldn’t be where he is today. Yet life often offers opportunities for us to correct our thinking, behavior and harm inflicted, if we’re willing to do what is expected of us as a response.

It’s a life of a man that rose from the dashes of his self destruction.

Andrisse began having problems with the law as a younger-age teenager, being arrested at 14-years old. He continued headed down the wrong path, so to speak, adding three felony drug convictions to his name and record by his early 20s.

He was deemed beyond hope and a “career criminal.” The future, naturally, seemed bleak and the present was already ugly. It was bad, really bad.

Yet, fast forward through a lot of suffering and Andrisse isn’t that person anymore, isn’t hurting himself or others with poor judgment and criminal actions.

He built himself into an endocrinologist scientist and professor: “Believe it, or not,” as Jack Palance regularly said so many years ago as a host of a popular television show.

Life-Changing Motivation

“While incarcerated, Andrisse’s father experienced declining health after a battle with type-2 diabetes,” Freeman reported. “Andrisse became eager to learn more about the disease,” because it, “caused his father to lose his toes, his feet and ultimately, his life.”

It was an overwhelming loss for the son.

“It is very emotionally difficult for any person to see their loved one going through something like that,” and “to be locked in a cage amplifies that emotional distress. It is very hard to put into words,” Andrisse told Freeman.

There was power and positive, resilient action that developed and emerged from that pain and suffering.

“Andrisse began reading scientific articles on diabetes while incarcerated, which fueled his motivation to apply to graduate school and study medicine after his release,” Freeman wrote.

It wasn’t easy.

“Andrisse was later rejected from every biomedical graduate program where he applied, except for the university where his mentor was on the admissions committee, St. Louis University,” per Freeman.

Opportunity presented proved opportunity well granted as Andrisse excelled academically, later earned an MBA and eventually, a Ph.D. focused on diabetes and physiology. He additionally launched a non-profit, From Prison Cells to PhD, that, each year, helps current and former prisoners with “resources, tools, support, mentoring and internships,” Freeman wrote.

He additionally authored a book, published in 2021, From Prison Cells to PhD: It is Never Too Late to Do Good, that has earned a 4.8 stars out-of-five rating, as of Nov. 16, 2025, from 82 reader reviews on Amazon.

“It’s proof that redemption is real,” Andrisse has said and that’s true in far more situations and for far more people than most of us would suspect.

Hopefully this new section of Reputation Intelligence will help numerous people see and believe it’s possible and doable.

Ownership of Error and Offense First

“I don’t excuse my past. I own it,” Andrisse told Freeman. “Redemption isn’t about erasing mistakes; it’s about learning from them and using that experience to make a difference.”

Confess what we did and the impact it had on other people. Don’t deny it or displace blame. Study our feelings, decisions and actions that were present and happened and learn from it.

Then become someone who makes a difference by positively changing, in a sustained manner. We all have to do it anyway, whether small or significant, in our lives.

A person has to create a vivid, powerful vision for both redemption and a map for the road back and then diligently travel that way back to trust and opportunity.

You may have to fight your emotions, lasting feelings, upset, fear and resistance yet with a smart plan, persistence, adjustments and time (maybe a short amount, maybe longer, maybe painfully long), redemption becomes more possible, if not likely.

There are success stories. They can be difficult to find, yet they are out there. This newsletter hopes to learn of and provide many more. Hopefully, at least one will resonate and inspire someone to create their own expedition to succeed themselves.

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Michael Toebe and Reputation Intelligence serve clients with matters of trust, stakeholder relationships and communications. Proactive and responsive services, as well as helpful guides for sale and this newsletter.

His background includes work in research and analysis, media, conflict management, public relations, crisis communications and crisis management.

Our worst selves often create harm and pain for other people yet additionally, that same thinking and behavior proves self destructive.

Even if we want badly to improve and escape our status quo, we usually get lost, frustrated and feel hopelessness trying to find the way out. The clarity, courage and necessary power through a dysfunctional, painful life appears elusive.

Robert Downey Jr. had his demons and addictions yet he wasn’t given up on and more so, he was extended multiple forms of help when he desperately needed it.

He chose acceptance of the gifts for core human needs and didn’t stop there. He went steps further to work on his responsibility, decision making, habits and misbehavior.

Receiving an entertainment award, the actor talked about the one person — fellow actor and filmmaker Mel Gibson — who helped him most move from the depths of despair to higher, healthier, happier ground and new respect, trust and opportunities.

"He said, if I'd accept responsibility for my wrongdoings and if I embraced that part of my soul that was ugly — hugging the cactus, he calls it; he said that if I hugged the cactus long enough, I'd become a man of some humility and that my life would take on a new meaning. And I did and it worked,” Downey said.

What he learned was that avoidance was not the right door if the goal and need was to move from the struggle, loss and risks that he was living to better days and nights.

He learned that fighting the wrong fight to reject progress and remain where he was, holding on to thinking and actions that weren’t serving him well or benefitting his future self, wasn’t the answer for him.

Expecting trouble to blow over, so to speak, to pass, without him being involved in that desire, wasn’t going to happen.

What was both the life vest and helpful was 1) accepting generosity from at least one person 2) thoughtfully considering the wisdom he was presented as a gift 3) walking further into the discomfort and anxiety of “hugging the cactus” 4) developing a critically-important level of humility (which we all need) and 5) doing it consistently and persevering through the struggle, with healthy assistance if needed.

For Downey, “it worked.” It may not for everyone but it could and will for some of us.

Taking responsibility isn’t always easy and embracing the “ugly” parts we show others and maybe, ourselves, is prickly, painful,, undesirable work.

It takes strength, which we may unknowingly have in reserve, yet have yet to tap into for our benefit, progress, breakthrough and slow healing.

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This free newsletter — Reputation Intelligence — is written by Michael Toebe, who offers services that proactively and responsively address professional and personal concerns.

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